and her place-based ponderings
i was sad tonight. missing Daddy. wishing he were here. not so i could say anything not so we could do anything. just to have him close. this afternoon i was walking up the porch to the front door. i felt something hit the back of my leg. i turned around. a penny was sitting… Continue reading a penny from heaven
I yearn for control over the whole situation, and I think that I was hoping forgiveness would bring that control. Would bring freedom from the intense anger, and the sadness, and the hurt -- oh the hurt -- when I think of them, when I hear their names, when I see one or the other across a coffee shop at some point in the future.
I can’t help but marvel at how many years I’ve already spent on Earth. I know 20 isn’t old, but when you’ve never been older than a teenager, it sounds old. The age on my tongue feels older than I can possibly be. The signing makes me feel older than I can possibly be. And yet, here I am.
Right now, your heart is heavy with the weight of the reality currently cloaking your country. Right now, tears creep their way between your eyelids. I hope they fall.
This Fathers’ Day wasn’t my first without a father to celebrate with. Not by a long shot. And it wasn’t hard. Mom and I called Grandpa, wished him a happy day. We drove back from The Apartment to The House. We didn’t talk about what we didn’t do. What there wasn’t to do. At least,… Continue reading [Father]s’ Day
As white people -- and particularly, right now, as white Americans -- we have a responsibility to confront our privilege. To sit with it. To feel uncomfortable. To stare it down and force ourselves to keep staring, even when all we want is to turn our heads and run far and fast back to the safety of the norm.
It’s so easy to look at the lines of zeroes that turn 100 into 100,000 and feel distantly devastated without grasping what death actually means: the souls gone, the people changed by loss.
On the space between acknowledging privilege and hatred in trying times.
